Tuesday, July 29, 2014

J

Four years of friendship and we still have limited photos. You always refuse to be photographed, especially without me. But you were always behind my most favorite photos of myself. Not being particularly inclined in photography (but still knowledgeable on the basics), you always amazed me when you take so many good photos of me and Arra.

I have always had a theory about that, a theory I never shared. I think the reason you took so many lovely photos of me and Arra is because you saw the best of us, the best of me. Your talent in taking photos wasn't built on technicalities or style. It's rooted in your eyes, your eyes that always saw what was real in people. You always said you had trust issues, and together we would cry about our individual pain. But in the years I have known you, under all that skepticism, I saw someone who knew how to be a true friend, a dedicated sister and a pure lover.

In the rare moments you told us what you completely think, I would hold on to every word. When you gave your opinion, I listened and nodded because I knew you saw things with a pair of clear eyes. Somehow, those pair of eyes saw something in me.

Thank you, J. For always believing in me. For being a strong rock in a sea of fleeting relationships. For being a source of strength and an incredible esteem-booster. I never tell you how much you mean to me enough but I hope my clingy ways let you know. There are few friends in this lifetime I consider to be irreplaceable in my life. You, J, are one of them. I still remember the day I told you that you reminded me of my old best friend and how you angrily told me you would never treat me the same way. I hope you never ever realize you don't want to be friends with me. I don't know what I would do without you.

This photo of us perfectly captures who we are as friends. While others have thought I control you, it actually is the opposite, you're a bully. Just kidding! Like this photo, I will always keep my arms around you protectively. You can always count on that. But, also I will be holding on to you because you're my rock. You keep me grounded and secure when my head is in the clouds. You keep me up and standing when my heart has sunk beneath the ground. I hope you never lose your copy of this photo. On days I don't get to chat with you through our Microsourcing Skype accounts or Facebook Messenger, on days I start blogging about a life I don't share with you anymore, on days we walk our own paths to our individual dreams, on the days we are separated by oceans, may this photo always remind you that no matter what, you will always be a constant in my life. Happy 21st birthday, J. Subspace soon? Just like the good ol' times?


Finally posting again because it is a special day. ♥ Here's an online letter to one of my favorite people. Excuse any grammatical errors. It is a non-working holiday and I'm giving the writer in me a break (only until noon though) :)


Saturday, May 10, 2014

Real

Maybe you don't have to be perfect all the time. Maybe you don't have to explain to the world everything you do - no need to justify why you dyed your hair blue or paint your nails gold. Maybe the world can't tell you whether or not he is right for you or if you should buy a house. Maybe you don't need to listen when the world tells you you're too young or too old, too shy or too strong, too fat or too thin. Maybe society is messed up but you don't have to be. You just need to be you.

This society will have people pointing fingers, telling you what's wrong with you but bear in mind there will be people who do that to them, too. This society is creating a vicious cycle of pain and bitterness. Reject that. Don't let the world break you. Stop trying to fit in an image made by someone else. At the end of the day, choose to be strong, honest, brave and real.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Two Months After: Looking Back to My Experience with TV Maria

200 hours may seem daunting at first. Immediately, I imagine long weeks of training. Surprisingly, now that I’m done, it feels like time has flown away.

I have learned so much and I am deeply thankful. TV Maria, far from what I expected, is actually a tight knit group of less than 10 people. I have learned that in a small team like this, every hour counts. Every task accomplished matters.

While there were days I felt like I had nothing to do, most days were really busy. One task had to be pushed aside because another more urgent task comes up. The hustle and bustle in the office was caused by the preparation for the Catholic Heroes shoot. Props had to be prepared and packed. Documents recopied. While all these in theory sound trivial, I learned that thoroughness is part of making sure the quality standard is reached.

The most memorable experiences happened in the shoot in Quezon for the episode 1 of Catholic Heroes. The early mornings and late nights felt no different as every waking moment was spent on making sure every scene went well. Ma’am Kathie and Ma’am Monik, Assistant Production Managers, never tried to leave all the work to me. Still, the constant motion and things we had to lug around always had me staring at the ceiling at the end of the night with numb legs but a fulfilled mind. Though tired from the shoot, it felt like a crime to even stop working to take a break even to eat.

Then again, days spent inside the office also taught me a lot from script formats to news writing, I took each day as a learning experience. Because I wasn’t assigned to a particular show, I had a glimpse of each program on going. From observation and actual experience, I learned that no one ever sticks to just one job. It takes an extra effort, pairs of working hands and nine generous individuals who coordinate and labor for every show aired.

As a student only beginning to test the waters in this industry, I appreciate all the tasks I was given, no matter what they were. The exposure to how a shoot progresses and the daily tasks in the office gave me a clearer overview of what my responsibilities might be once I start working. I feel truly blessed to be part of this. It felt good to be working for a purpose I believe in. That was the number 1 motivating factor in every task I had to do – that in the end, everything will be for God’s greater glory.

For all the times I left the compound with a frown on my face, none of it mattered. After 201 hours, I walked away - not for good - breaking into a smile.
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